U don't know you're beautiful~

.."You don't know(ow ow)..you don't know you're beautiful..and that's what makes you beautiful"..seriously One Direction?Is it really possible that a pretty girl doesn't even know when she's pretty? Come on..i don't know how do they do it in the UK..but here in Malaysia..if ur gorgeous, u will get catcalls when u walk pass a bunch of guys, get lots of adik angkat request in school (em during 90s and early 2000..now dunno still got or not) and get hp numbers when u go makan2 outside and even when ur at the bank..so..chances that a girl doesnt even know she's pretty is impossible...

But..i think One Direction is still pretty right.. (k i might be using the word "pretty" a lot in this post coz it's easier to be spelled compared to gorgeous stunning lovely etc)....there is a possibility...that some hot/cute chick not being aware of the damage that they could cost to the opposite sex just by being the room..coz i've seen some...u see..there are many types of pretty girls out there..today i'ma write bout the 3 types of pretty girls according to me.. 

Pretty girl type 1:  

They know they are pretty..pretty means saham tinggi..so they allow ONLY branded stuff to touch their bodies..thinking that being pretty means u should wear only the best quality and costly thing..have to maintain their dignity sort of..and usually make friends with only the pretty ones..it's pretty ok if ur rich..but it kinda show low self confidence in themselves coz they need expensive stuff to feel good bout themselves..

Pretty girl type 2:
They don't know they are pretty..yes..they wear unfashionable clothes let alone branded ones..almost no make up..mix with average janes..but they are pretty ?naturally..i can find them everywhere..don't know what's causing them to be acting like wallflowers..laziness?i guess too high self esteem..hm..

Pretty girl type 3:
They know they are pretty but they are pretty cool..unbranded clothes and accesories?they'll work em like they worth a million...once u saw them wearing a rm12 bawal u'll have the urge to ask from which boutique did she bought it coz she'll make it look as if it's high end fashion..self esteem?high..coz they know..they themselves are limited edition collections..they usually mix with ppl who are like them too though..


So....which one do you prefer?judging from my previous collections of Baazar Karat rm25 handbags, u can tell which type i am..and i am dang proud to be one..wait..did i just unashamingly admit i'm pretty..hey..who did u think got kacau while mkn2 and at the bank?hehehe...

Quarter life crisis?

Remember the movie 13 going 30? The main character was fretting  about her sucky life as a 13 year old teen and wished she could fast forward to the time when she's 30. When i watched the movie i was still in my teen..sweet young thing who thought being 30 means being old AF. I questioned the plot. Why 30? Isn't that the expiry age to all the careless fun lifestyle that a human being could have..coz ur basically..old and have responsibilities..Now that i have reached my 30s..hm..i wished i could knuckle my old self who thought being 30 means being ancient.."hey you, being 30 is still young ok" ..well at least I think I'm young.. Am I though?

Or maybe..that kind of perception I have on myself..is probably a "quarter life crisis"..Coz some ppl do live until they are 120 years old rite..so a quarter is 30 years old..anywho...There's this mid life crisis..where people in their 40s feel melancholy, making big purchases, feeling lost and questioning your life's meaning. And there is probably a quarter life crisis too right?

What are the symptoms u might wonder..Ok here are my self diagnosed symptoms. First of all, is being reluctant to leave behind the 20s fashion sense n styles. If u rummage through my wardrobe u can still spot the jeans and tshirts thay i wore during my 20s in uni life..u can also see shirts that i JUST bought, looking like the ones i've mentioned above..sigh..i just couldnt accept the fact that i'm 30 plus and need to wear plain, baggy and iron bound blouse..haih..my fashion clock somehow stopped at the age of 24..ok ok..maybe 22..can't blame me for still having that 22 years old figure (half true though)

Next symptom is, keep replaying moments or comments in ur head when somebody mentioned or acknowledged (directly and indirectly) on how young you look..ahaha..which i replay right now in written form..just now when i went to bring baby Uzayr (yes..i have a 2nd baby now which i didnt update here at all..busy maa) for his 2nd jab, a smart little 1 year n 10 months old boy kept calling me "akak" when it's clearly that i'm a lil older than his dad..ok..mayb that fact is not clear enough to a 1 year old boy..who cares..i take it that he thought that i'm some young teenage girl...and i'm gonna emblazon that moment in my memory..till i get another similar incident..hey..it ain't wrong trying to feel good bout urself..just don't start forgetting your responsibilities as a grown up..Ok, that's it. I hope I can recover from this crisis and embrace my age. hahahah.

Gomen or private

I've finally gained a little energy to boil Rania's bottle aftr 3 days of being a helpless creature..just to kill the time and to clear my absolutely troubled soul I thought why dnt i write about it in my blog.. today makes it exactly a week after Rania got infected by a vile disease..the government doctor just diagnosed her disease as gastro sumthin2 n refused to test her for rotavirus..but when i got infected too 2 days aftr Rania and demanded a private clinic to test me for rotavirus, i got a positive test result..what do u think bout that doc..rotavirus made u vomit n poop almost every hour along with extremely high fever..if it aint rotavirus the  wat else?it all started at 3am on the first night..her temperature was high n she vomited like crazy..i was with mom at home coz hubby was outstation..i had to think quickly..government hospital/private? I chose the one that is nearest; government..since it was the wee hour of the night, my mom n i went to the emergency...only to wait until 6am..and still Rania was not seen by the doctor.........yes..2 hours...nothing..nada..i couldnt take it so i told my mom to just go back and go to the private first thing in the morning..aahhh..to cut the long story short..Rania was not warded (though she was supposed to) coz the whole children ward in an nur hospital n az zahra were full...so eventually, after spending the whole day waiting in the private hospital (i dont know what took the MA so long to come back from lunch break) and wiping Rania's bumbum that pooped 10 times, i went back to the government hospital..and though it took hours for our turn to come...at least they accepted her..the doctor believed she didnt need to be warded..she was treated with drip for one night at the daycare unit. When she was discharged she still pooped..but she recovered completely the day after..Alhamdulillah..actually Rania's infection cant be treated with any meds..the body has to wait until the virus die by itself..and it was sure one awful anticipation coz she was losing fluid n minerals so drastically..i'm thankful that the hospital staff did treat her well and the whole nite i spent there was not so bad..the nurses were friendly...i know this post seemed like complaining the government hospital treatment in certain part..i'm actually not..just sharing the truth;the good and the bad..

No matter what,private or government..if u pray rite..either one could be the best choice..my bad was that time i went out of the house without praying that the whole process of getting help for Rania would be made easy...tu yang both private n gomen pn lebih kurang je bad experiencenya..lesson learned..

Hols..the time for self reward..or is it?

2 weeks into the end of year school holidays and I finally got the chance to write out some stuff..At first i imagined myself sitting cosily with my lappy and sipping on hot milo while dishing out intelligent point of view in my blog every nite through out the hols..i couldn't have been more nonsensical..

In the first week Rania got attacked by this mysterious skin itchy problem only on her scalp and back where she would scream "gatal!" Every 30 minutes..doc A (paed) said it was bedbugs/scabbies..doc B (a not-so-confident young doc) said heat rash..doc C (dermatologist) said ezcema..tried all the meds religiously and the itch is still there..it turned out, surprise2! doc B made the most sense coz when Rania isn't so hot she's ok even when i didnt apply the creams..anyway..the only ME time i got in the first week was...hm..can't recall any..

SO.. now the 2nd week..aha! Rania conveniently got a high fever from out of the nowhere..hence the whole week, both of us became basically a pair of Siamese twins where in my case my twin is super clingy and moody..hm..one might go crazy in this kind of situation...i just told myself..it's just fated..xda rezeki nak bsuka ria..hm

Mommyhood

So..after a septillion years..i finally decided to update this blog..not that anybody cares though..coz i ain't got no followers and i have never ever share this blog to public..Maybe...it's time to make it seen..coz i have survived motherhood not just by learning from my mom and youtube (yikes!)..but also from other mother's blogs..hope i could shed some light on others too on certain matters on motherhood (plus other stuff) through my blog..i learnt about the best paeds in town (Klinik Hasmawati in Melawati), reviews on daycare in KL and the ugly truth of vaccination..all of 'em through blogs..wait..i'm not an antivax, i just love to know the truth..at the end of the day, i still vaccinated my baby and just put my faith in Allah...Anyway... not gonna share anything now coz i got tonnes of works to do..maybe next time..when Rania is asleep..and all my jobs are done..erm..not really an achieveable situation..but who knows..let's wait and see..

New me

Now that I'm 16 weeks pregnant( All praise to Allah.. Alhamdulillah) and having the end of year holiday, I'm feeling like a million dollar.. i know it should be the only thing that i should wanna talk about..don't get me wrong.. it is really the only thing i think about the moment got up from bed..but..i prefer to keep mum..(pun intended)..let my hubby, closest friends and relatives see the happiness that i go through..coz..u'll never how people/stranger would react to your happiness..some might think ur a show off, insensitive and just soooo into yourself..i've been waiting for 1 and half year for this baby..i know how it feels..so no biggie..no picture of pregnancy test, baby scan, baby bump or baby clothes' shopping spree..no problem..happiness...you can't touch it..can't taste it..can't visualize it..but u can feel it in your heart right..

When will u get pregnant?

Ah..life is like ur playing the Platypus game..where everytime u have completed a level u will find urself trying to send another bigger and scarier alien ship to hell..each level gets harder and harder. Same goes as to what's happening to my life right now. I thought aftr getting married i dnt have to entertain the nosy annoying good -for -nothing jerks..but they seem to get meaner dis time...anyway..i dnt rlly think giving them an ounce of attention shall bring any benefit to even the germs that are living between their smelly soles.. i just wanna pour out my feelings here. Yes..it's kinda sucky of not being pregnant until now after all the efforts tht were done...but honestly..my heart still cn contain tht pain n dat embarassment..God has planned the best plan everrrrrrrr...i know it in my heart..that the best is yet to come..mayb not this month....mayb not this year..hurm...but i do hope dis month will be the magical month! :) Insya Allah